What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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