i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
