Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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