I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
