tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i dont even know how to be here
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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