she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
