Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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