Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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