if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You need Xanax blowdarts
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
