wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
