My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
