Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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