i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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