Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
