a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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