Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
