no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
