that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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