Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
