On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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