it was like his penis was on wheels.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
