so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
