five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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