p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
