this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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