you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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