You're completely useless in the revolution.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
