I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
