Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
