Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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