I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
