Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
