I cannot find my penis.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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