I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
