I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
