u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
