I want to make a zoo with you.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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