I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
