I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
