Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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