Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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