shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
