you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
