I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
