i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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