kristin has been a bad kristin
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
