Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
