I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
