Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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