he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
