i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
