i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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