R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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