My nipple is on Facebook.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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