he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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