Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
bring money and cleavage
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
