it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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