I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
there's paper in my vomit.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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