so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
